I thought of many different April Fools jokes I could play on my readers/followers but then I realized the truth can be even more foolish than a prank. A diet so laughable that it sounds like a joke but sadly it is real. So, here's the first (and hopefully last) edition of the "Real Life Weight Loss Plan I Wish Was A Joke."
My friends, I present to you the 5-Bite Diet. This awesomely horrible diet is based on the book, Why Weight Around by Dr. Alwin Lewis. The plan is simple: eat 5 bites of anything you want at lunch and 5 bites of anything you want for dinner. All you need to follow this plan is the ability to count to 10. Sounds easy enough, right? I know what you're thinking, "Only 10 bites each day? Won't I get hungry?" Sure you will but here's the good news: you get to drink as much no-calorie drinks as you like. Woohoo. Rejoice. As much diet soda, water, or tea as you like. You might also be thinking, "What about all the vitamins and minerals my body needs? Is 10 bites a day enough to get those essential vitamins and minerals?" The good Dr. Lewis has you covered by having you take one multivitamin each day (which does not count as one of our 10 bites, thank goodness).
Why 5 bites per day you might ask? Dr. Lewis says it's like having your own gastric bypass and that over time your stomach will shrink. And with eating only 10 bites, the weight will just come off. Wow, you think, Doc? Dr. Lewis should get an award for such forward thinking. Let's have someone lose weight quickly on a plan that they can't sustain and--viola--call it a day.
Dr. Lewis cares, though. He doesn't want you to fail so you can pay $50 a year to join his online community and have access to his membership boards and weight loss tracker. If that's not enough support, for $2,000 you can get weekly sessions with Dr. Lewis for 3 months. That's 12 sessions at $166.67 per session. Sound expensive? Well, think of all the money you save if you are only eating 10 bites per day.
I don't even know where to start on this one. First of all, I'm appalled that he's getting away with this. This is such a ludicrous plan that I'm surprised it's even still around. Secondly, what kind of integrity does this man have? I don't think I've ever seen a diet promote disordered eating patterns more than this one. Shame on Dr. Lewis for fueling this behavior. My hope is that this is the last time we ever hear of this diet. May it fade away into oblivion where it belongs. Sadly though, there will be more like these to come and I will have to write another post like this next April Fools Day.
In the mean time, don't be a fool. Listen to your body. Trust that you have the skill to eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full. Make peace with food and say goodbye to your restrictive behavior. Love your body, no matter what shape. You are worth the space you take up.