I'm back!

It has been way too long for me to post something to this site. There is so many reasons for not posting but after a long conversation with my wife last night, I finally realized why I'm not writing.  It's fear!  Fear of finding and using my voice.  Fear that my voice might not be accepted.  Fear that I might say something that offends you.  Fear that no one will listen.  Fear that I don't have anything to say.

I know I'm not alone. I am sure there some of you out there reading this that know what it's like to live with the voice of fear constantly speaking in your ear.  That voice holds us back from so much.  It keeps us from trying new things, from going outside our comfort zone and from perusing our dreams.

Well last night, I realized that I have a voice.  I have something to say and it is something important.  I am sorry if it offends you or makes you uncomfortable.  I am sorry if it challenges your assumptions about health, healthy bodies and eating.  What I need to say is bigger than just a small private practice in Los Angeles.  It is a message that needs to be heard by everyone.  I need to add my voice to the many colleagues that I respect and admire.  I am joining them in a revolution to change how we, as a society, see our bodies and how we define health.

I'm back to join a movement to stop the oppression of people who are in bodies that society says do not fit and to say, we are here, and we deserve to be heard.

Change is coming and I am going to be a part of it.

I have a voice, and I'm going to make it heard.  I will be unabashedly honest and I'm sorry if that bothers you.  I owe it to myself, to my family and to my profession to use my voice to help us change.

I'm back baby and guess what, I think you're going to love it!

I know fear will always be there, but like I've told clients before, we never mute the voice, we must make the competing voices louder.  So here's to courage, bravery and vulnerability.  Fear can bite me!

In the coming months, you can look forward to more frequent posts on topics that might be difficult to discuss, read or share but this is what needs to be done for change to come.  You'll be reading more about my own body image experience, my observations of the diet culture that surrounds me, and an honest point of view on how I am, and will continue to, work to help us embrace our bodies, find our own version of health and learn to heal our relationship with food.

I look forward to you joining me on this journey.

Problems with #WeighThis Campaign from Lean Cuisine

One of my friends sent me this video recently.  It is a part of Lean Cuisine's #WeighThis campaign which launched earlier this year.  Watch the video and let's discuss it!

As I watched the video I enjoyed seeing how there was a shift in focus from the number on the scale to other more important things in life. The participants in the video (all women by the way) were asked to weigh the most important things in their lives.  The types of things that they wanted to weigh varied to wedding rings, diplomas, Dean's List honors, back packs and siblings.  It was a nice message to send, especially by such a notable brand as Lean Cuisine.  It shows that the mainstream notion of "weight loss" might be changing.

But after a few minutes of thinking, I became much less complimentary of the video.  It actually got me pretty riled up and here's why: it's a perfect illustration of the mixed messages we get about weighing ourselves yet still try to lose weight.  Is it an improvement compared to past campaigns? Yes but let's be honest, Lean Cuisine is selling and designing food for people who want to eat smaller portions with the ultimate goal: to lose weight!  Lean Cuisine is co-opting the non-diet message in the hopes of selling a few extra million frozen dinners.

This co-opting of messages is a common theme these days.  "Eat mindfully and tune in to your hunger and fullness! IF you do these things, you'll surely lose weight." Now I'm obviously paraphrasing a little but it's basically what the messages comes down to.  Despite a change at the surface, when we look closer at what lies underneath, we are still a society that is focused on changing the number on the scale.  Although we might be changing the words we use, we are still focused on changing our body.

C'mon, think about it.  Lean Cuisine is telling you not to focus on what you weigh, to think more about what you have accomplished in your life, and it's not the number on the scale.  Great message and I agree 100% percent. But this is coming from a company whose name is LEAN friggin Cuisine!  Every box of frozen-food says it right there, in front of our face: "LEAN!" The package does not say, Every Body is Beautiful and Deserves Delicious, Frozen  Cuisine.  No, it says LEAN Cuisine.  You might say, well it's just the original name of the company and maybe they are talking about the food being lean.  To that I say, everything is in the name.  Sure maybe they are referring to lean food but the underlying message is also having a lean body! Brand names are important.  Think about Skinny Cow.  What is that product name saying about us?

So, let's give up on the name thing and then focus on the food.  Sure, Lean Cuisine makes some great options.  Their food philosophy has changed recently and they are meeting the need of the consumer by offering different choices like high protein, gluten-free and organic meals.  They've removed almost all mention of "low calorie" from their website but if you look at the nutrition information you'll see nearly all dishes (except for a few) are less than 300 calories per meal.  Why would someone intentionally eat a 300 calorie meal unless it was to lose weight?  If I eat one Lean Cuisine meal, 3 times a day, that would be around 900 calories a day an not nearly enough to satisfy any normal level of hunger.  Restriction like this is what leads to binge-related eating.  What if I just have them for lunch or dinner (which is totally reasonable)?  Again, I would argue that 300 calories might not be enough energy to sustain someone from mid-day to bedtime which can lead to this scenario.  Eat lunch --> it satisfies my hunger for an hour or maybe two --> hunger levels increase --> I don't have permission to eat because I just ate 1-2 hours ago so I wait until the next meal --> hunger levels increase --> I overeat my snack or dinner because hunger levels became so strong.  In my experience, the low calorie frozen meals just don't sustain hunger levels long enough for most people.

I'm left with another in a series of gray area answers to real-life issues. (Appreciating the gray areas is foundational for intuitive eating.)  Sure, Lean Cuisine should be applauded for a change in their philosophy but in my opinion, this change is only on the surface.  In reality, their core business is to help people lose weight and if I'm true to my Intuitive Eating and Health at Every Size® philosophy, then the two can not live together in harmony.  When the underlying goal is to lose weight, it will ultimately sabotage any Intuitive Eating and HAES® beliefs. I leave you with this graphic which I adapted from the Intuitive Eating book that shows the cycle that is created when we put our desire to lose weight at the forefront of our concern.  Nice try, Lean Cuisine, but I'm not buying it and nor should you!

Open letter to the young ladies who fat-shamed me this weekend.

Dear Young Ladies,

It's been hot here in LA over the past weekend.  Really hot!  I mean, 100+ degrees hot and the only respite from the heat is to find any collection of water, put your body in it and stay there as long as you can.  That's exactly what my family and I did when we went out to my mother-in-law's community pool in Westlake Village.

Of course, we aren't the only geniuses to consider going to the pool that day so it was crowded.  We got in the pool and my son and I started playing catch in the water.  As we played, I noticed you three young women diving down under water, staring at me below the surface, then coming up for air, giggling and pointing at me.

I don't know exactly what you were saying to each other in the pool this weekend, but I could tell that you were watching my stomach "jiggle" underwater as I threw the ball with my son. You continued to stare and make funny comments to each other even after I noticed you.  I looked you right in the eyes and you made virtually no effort hide what was going on; you just continued to stare and make fun of me. I wish I had a witty comment, or some way to confront you on this but this was literally the first time something like this has happened to me.  I should have said something to you. I should have let you know that I saw what you were doing and that it made me feel very uncomfortable. I should have done 99 different things but instead I froze. I just tried to ignore you and continue to play with my son who was, thankfully, 100% oblivious to the whole thing.

I don't know why, but I was surprised that this was happening to me and I was surprised at how I handled it.  You would never know this but for a long time, I would wear a shirt when I went swimming. I told myself and others, it was because I was worried about getting sunburned, but the truth was I was ashamed to show my stomach in public.  As I've become more involved in the Health at Every Size® (HAES) and body positive movement, I finally realized that I have nothing to be ashamed of.  Quite the opposite, I should be proud of my body and if I'm going to encourage others to be as well, I better walk the walk and not just talk the talk.  They day before this incident, while swimming at another pool, my daughter asked, "Daddy, why don't you swim with your shirt on anymore?"  I told her the truth: that I used to wear my shirt because I was embarrassed of my body and now, I'm proud of what I look like and I'll only wear it if I'm out in the sun too much to avoid a sunburn.  She had no comment at all and just accepted it saying, "OK."

To the people close to me, my body shape is not an issue and, in the end, that is what really matters. After struggling so many years with showing my body at the beach or the pool, to have this experience really flustered me. Girls, I want you to know I won't be putting my shirt back on because of you. You can laugh and giggle all you want, but I won't be hiding myself any longer. I'll learn to deal with the comments and looks. I will learn to be more comfortable.  Hopefully, you will learn not to make fun of something that is different from what you might normally see.  Hopefully, you'll be nicer to others in the future who have a similar shape as me.  Hopefully, you won't tease your classmates who are in larger size bodies. Hopefully, this was a one time thing for all of us, but we all know it won't be.

Summer is not over and who knows when it will cool down, so there's a good chance we'll meet again either this summer or the next.  I'll still have my shirt off and I have chosen what I'd say to you or to anyone else who starts to  stare and giggle.  It goes something like this: "Hi there.  I'm Aaron.  I hope you are enjoying the pool today.  I sure am. Want to play catch with my son and me?"

See you at the pool.

"It Worked Before..."

It's something I hear all the time as people come into my office or talk to me about losing weight.  They say, "Well I just need to go back to what I was doing a couple of years ago, it worked before..."  There are, of course variations on the theme.  Maybe someone will say, "I know what works, I just need to get back to doing it." I've heard something like this so many times; people struggling to find what will "work" to help them finally win the weight loss battle.  It finally occurred to me just recently, the problem is we are using the wrong definition for the word "worked."

Most people I talk to, they'd probably define a program "working" as something that helped them successfully lose some amount of weight.  "I know Weight Watchers worked because I was able to lose 15 pounds on their program."  "I was doing so well avoiding carbs.  That totally worked for me.  I lost weight but I just stopped for some reason and when I did, I started to gain weight again."  It doesn't how you put it, we think, "working" means losing weight, for the short-term.  

Well guess what, starting today, you should begin to redefine what is really "working". If you look at a growing body or research, it's clear, long-term weight loss is extremely difficult to achieve.  Now when I say long-term, I mean greater than 5 years.  Over the long-term, a majority of people will regain most of the weight that they lose.  With that being said, think about the "diets" you've been on and really ask yourself, "Did that really work?" Were you able to keep all the weight off after 5 years? I'm guessing that the majority of you probably will say no, which would be completely normal.  Maybe you can't you even answer that question because you can't count how many diets you tried in a 5 year period?  

So let's change our definition of "what worked."  Let's really be honest and ask yourself, "Did that diet REALLY work for me?" and see what your answer is.

Any plan, diet or intervention whose primary focus is to help you lose weight, will likely not "work." It's not your fault and it never was.  The fault lies in the goals of the plan or diet.  The fault lies on the pressure we have in our society to be  certain size.  The fault is that we hate our bodies.  The fault lies in the fact that we are focusing on losing weight instead of trying to find good health.

Maybe it's time to do something drastic then.  Perhaps it is time for something radical, to go against the grain.  It's time to focus on something other than weight because the scale does not determine your health,  

What would happen if you measured your health in some other term than a number on the scale, the size dress or pants you wear or by the inches of your waist.  What if you were to measure health by how well you feel, how you manage your stress, how often you move your body, how many times do you laugh each day, and how you manage your relationship with food?  What if you began to accept and appreciate the body you have TODAY instead of waiting for the body of tomorrow.  TODAY is here, now and real.  

How do you start changing?  Try these 5 things

1) Try to pay attention to hunger and fullness cues as you are eating.  Learning to eat when you're hungry and stop when you're full is the foundation to Intuitive Eating and changing your relationship with food

2) Move your body in any way that feels good.  Forget the punishment plan.  Don't exercise just to burn calories.  Exercise because it makes you feel better about yourself and your body. Move because it's one of the best acts of self-care you can for yourself each day.

3) Learn to pay attention not just to what you eat, but why.  If you find yourself emotionally eating, ask yourself, "What do I REALLY need right now?"  Chances are, it's not really food.

4) Develop a body positive frame of thinking.  Try thanking your body each and every day for ALL of the amazing things it does for you.

5) Consider throwing out your scale.  Starting to not weigh yourself might be the jump-start you need to learn to change the focus from weight to health.

Body Love Conference 2015 - A day of inspiration

We all need a day just focused on body love and body positivity in our lives!  I was lucky enough to have one of those in June of 2015.

I first learned about the Body Love Conference last year from the social media page of Jes Baker aka The Militant Baker.  She's an advocate for body acceptance and active in many different ways to try to help us embrace the idea that truly all bodies are beautiful and an important figure in the HAES® and size acceptance movement.

I found out they were accepting submissions and I figured I'd submit an idea that I had for a presentation.  Luckily my submission was accepted!  We'll get to that in a few, but first let me tell you more about the conference and the time leading up to it.  As the conference got closer and closer, I was obviously nervous about being in front of a group of people but, in all honesty, there were other issues going on.  Recently I've been filled with self-doubt for many different reasons but let's just say the past six months have been a struggle.  The self-doubt that I was experiencing (like with all things negative) permeated into other parts of my life.  With the conference approaching, I was looking forward to be in an accepting environment of all different types of people, not just as a presenter but as a participant also.

The other thing that I was looking forward to was connecting with some other professionals that I've followed via social media for a while, the co-founders of Be Nourished, Dana Sturtevant, MS, RD and Hilary Kinavey, MS, LPC.  These two women are inspirations for me because they embody the type of body positive practice that helps people across the country heal their relationship with their body and with food.  In addition to Dana and Hilary, I also met another HAES® professional, Carmen Cool, MA, LPC and a teen dynamo Maya Greenberg.  Together, their work at the Boulder Body Alliance is something every community needs: adults and teens working together to advocate for body positivity to local school boards and local and federal government.  These colleagues (and now friends) were a large reason why my weekend was so memorable.  Coming to a conference where you really don't know anyone can be daunting but when you're struggling with self doubt and depression, it is overwhelming to say the least.  Their sessions inspired me and their kindness towards me will always be appreciated because it made me feel accepted and a part of the community.

Being accepted was a theme that really resonated with me over my whole weekend in Tucson.  Part of what I was going to talk about in my presentation was my own personal experience with weight stigma.  As a fat dietitian, I get it almost weekly and I wanted to share my experience at the conference.  So as I got to the conference, I was excited to be in a community that was so open to all different shapes, sizes and genders.  I was not disappointed one little bit.  Over the course of the entire weekend, I felt so comfortable around everyone and it was a feeling that I continue to hold on to.  When it came to my presentation, I was standing in front of a group of people and never once did I feel judged by my size....not once! Usually when I present, I notice about 25-50% of the people there stealing peeks at my stomach, not looking at my eyes.  Well, that never happened--not once--during my entire weekend.

This leads to what my presentation was about.  It was called, "Judge me by size do you? Lessons learned from a fat dietitian."  Like I mentioned above, it was about my experience of being judged by my size, but I also talked about Intuitive Eating, HAES®, and Star Wars.  Yes, Star Wars.  I used quotes from the Jedi Master, Yoda, to bring home how making peace with food and accepting our bodies is like using The Force.  It was full of movie clips and quotes and I was thrilled with the response I got.  I was especially thankful that Jes Baker found time to attend the session!

Truly, it was an overwhelmingly positive experience.  It was amazing to be surrounded by so many "body positive" activists.  It felt so amazing to meet Jes herself.  When I did, it seemed as if she was just as excited to meet me as I was to meet her.  I'll always be thankful for her warm reception and accepting hug!  I'd also like to thank the team of volunteers who organized this weekend.  It was truly a labor of love and the fact is this: their work in organizing this weekend made a positive impact on hundreds of lives.

Now that I'm home with some perspective on what this weekend meant to me, the answer is clear.  It was just what the doctor ordered.  I came home energized and ready to spread the message of body positivity, Intuitive Eating and HAES® to all the future Jedis out there.  I came home smiling but also ready to tell the world, "Your body does not need to be changed!"  Embrace the body you have now! For remember, what Yoda said, "Luminous beings we are!" and I've never been more convinced of that statement than I am today.

What Are You Prepared To Do?

It's been a while since I wrote on this blog. Why? Many reasons, really, but let's just boil it down to this: nothing really inspired me.  And with no inspiration, there was no writing.

To what do I owe the pleasure of inspiration?  Its none other than JJ Virgin.  She's  a nutrition and fitness expert with nearly 30+ years of experience in the field (per her website). She is an avid writer and her latest book "Sugar Impact Diet" was a New York Times bestseller.

So there I am, wasting time on Huffington Post (as I'm prone to do) and I came across this article, 9 Science-based Strategies for Long-Term Weight Loss.  Obviously with a title like that, I'm bound to be intrigued, right?  That's what a good headline is supposed to do, after all.  Well, it worked and I found myself reading the article. That might have been a mistake or one of the greatest things ever....we'll know after I finish this blog.

Just reading the headline, I was wondering, "Has someone finally cracked the code to successful weight loss?"  If so, then let's get the Nobel Prize for Science ready!  But before we book flights to Stockholm, let's see what the article said.

It starts by citing a study done in 2007 that found (no surprise if you've read any of my other blogs) that over the long-term, most people (around 95%) will eventually regain weight after their initial success in losing weight.  You would think that after reading the article she references, the author would say, "So, why not give up dieting?"  No way no how! She goes on to say that despite these insurmountable odds, these 9 science-based strategies will disprove the previous article she just mentioned.

Anyone--and I mean anyone--can find numerous studies that show short-term weight loss. Great, then let's get to the real crux of it then: where's the long-term data? I don't care about short-term data, show me the numbers after 5 years.  Why don't they report these?  Because they show the truth, that most people gain the weight back!

But let's get back to the article, shall we?  Her 9 strategies say that people who maintain "fat loss" do the following:
1) They measure to improve by using mobile apps to track calories, daily weights and wearing a pedometer.
2) They journal their intake and their health goals
3) They eat mindfully and I have to quote here, "They know even a few moments of mindless eating -- such as a perilous 11 p.m. cookie dough fridge raid -- will derail their best efforts." 
4) They downsize by using smaller plate and glasses to eat smaller portions 
5) They simplify breakfast by having a meal replacement shake. 
6) They add before they take away meaning they "fill up" on fiber so that they don't end up eating other unwanted foods 
7) They keep their enemy away by not ever letting offending foods into the house.  (JJ's personal example is almond butter!) 
8) They surround themselves with like-minded people and again I quote, "To maintain fat loss, studies show a person's chances of becoming obese increased by 57% if they had a friend who became obese in a given interval." 
9) They engage in community by being around other like minded people.  


As I read these, I realized that these all seemed so incredibly sad.  Why sad? Well, let me interpret these 9 strategies for you.  To me, what I read is that if you want to lose weight and keep it off for the long-term here's what you better be prepared to do:  

• Forever be slave to...
• calorie counting  
• keeping a food journal
• drinking your morning meal replacement shake and
• the scale. 
• You better be sure to be hyper vigilant and never ever ever slip up because if you do, you're doomed. 
• Make sure you never eat too much and be sure and surround yourself with other people who are experiencing the same thing you are so you all can complain about how miserable you all are.  
• Oh, and be sure to not have any fat friends because if you do, they'll sabotage your efforts. 

If these sound as unappealing to you as they do to me then I have an alternative for you. You have a choice and here are the ones I've made:  

I choose to enjoy my food by savoring each bite, no matter what it is.  
I choose to listen to my body, my cravings and my fullness.  
I choose to live with peace with my body and my food.  
I choose to surround myself with people of all shapes and sizes because their size does not determine what kind of person they are going to be. 
I choose to honor my body with movement that makes me feel alive.

This is Health at Every Size® an Intuitive Eating and it works.  Interested in joining me, there's plenty of room on this train! 

Thanks JJ Virgin for helping me get back in the blog world!  It's nice to be back.

Childhood Obesity PSA - The Completely Wrong Message

The childhood obesity PSA posted below has me so upset that I just had to share some of my thoughts with everyone.

Just like many other ads, the sensational tone shames both parents and kids.  It says nothing of the fact that health comes in different shapes and sizes.  It makes it seem as if a parent makes one mistake feeding their child at early age, they've doomed their child to an early death.  Nothing could be further from the truth.  It's this black and white thinking that leads us to think of foods as "good" or "bad" and lead to a life of dieting and binging.

As parents we need to learn how to help our children feel comfortable with all different kinds of foods. We need to learn how to nurture our child's self confidence with food and their body.  Shame should have no place in your home.   The last thing we need is create environment that leads our children to hate their bodies, seek diets and promote unhealthy relationships with food.

This is the kind of ad that is a perfect example of what we need to change.  We need to change how we think about weight, health and food.  We need to learn to accept our bodies, tune in to hunger and fullness and we need to be comfortable enough to make peace with food.  We need more compassion and less shame.

Taking Stock

Every now and then it seems that I go through a bit of a renaissance when it comes to the world of nutrition.  Just like the science of food, my knowledge is ever-changing and new information leads to new beliefs. I never abandon my old beliefs but a new layer is added to them.  Consider my own evolution:  As a student I thought weight loss would be my main focus, helping others shed pounds would be my contribution to the nutrition world.  As a dietetic intern, I thought maybe I'd be better served by working as a dietitian for those admitted in hospitals, working with doctors and other healthcare providers to help the acutely ill to recover and play a role in helping them get better.  But then as I became a working RD, I read Intuitive Eating (IE) and that added a profound new understanding about eating which made me realize that my place is better served in the outpatient world helping individuals learn to change and improve their relationship with food.  Layer that with the belief in Health at Every Size® (HAES®) and that focusing on health rather than weight is an important factor in helping people change their behaviors.  And layers continue to be added like what I've learned about Blue Zones and weight stigma.

So here I am, like an onion, with all these layers, some new and some old.  So today's post is sort of a "taking stock" of where I am.

Here are some of the current beliefs.

1. At my core, I believe in IE as a model for eating.  It is a fundamental belief that is at the heart of my practice.  What I take most from IE is the notion that all foods are equal and that I will continue to try to not label foods as good or bad.  My neutrality towards food is not how most of the world of nutrition functions.  We labels things in black and white and with that we add a moral judgement to foods.  That judgement transfers onto us when we eat those foods we've labeled and that clouds our ability to pay attention to internal cues of hunger and fullness.

2. Next, I believe that we are doing a disservice to our country by continuing to fight this ongoing "War on Obesity." This way of addressing the issue of weight is incredibly stigmatizing and potentially damaging, especially when it's focused on our nation's children.  When there is a war, there are winners and losers.  Lose weight and win, stay heavy and lose. Black and white, no middle ground. What a horrible message to send to our children.  And how do we define winning anyway--losing weight? And at what cost?  With such an intense focus on weight, we perpetuate a diet mentality that sabotages our ability to trust our internal cues.  This focus on weight blinds what our real focus should be, healthy behaviors and not healthy weights.

3. Just like the name of this blog, I believe in moderation and balance.  I know there are many dietitians who disagree with me but for me and my practice, I find that moderation is possible.  And when I say moderation, I mean that all foods can be a part of your diet, without judgement, because again, that is how we really make peace with food and begin to tune into what our body tells us.  But this is an area where I begin to struggle, because the term "moderation" has been co-opted by big food companies. This leads me to my next belief:

4. There are things inherently wrong with our food system.  I believe that we rely heavily on overly-processed foods that have allowed big food companies to exert a strong control over our daily food choices.  I don't like the way foods are marketed to kids and I don't like how my professional organization is sponsored by big food companies. I struggle with the nuances of IE at times like this because even though I don't label a candy bar as good or bad, I still don't want it marketed towards my kids and I don't want it used as a reward for their good behavior.

5. Despite what seems to be popular belief, I refuse to demonize sugar.   Sugar is not the root of all our nutritional problems and to think that if we just go sugar-free we'll fix the problem is overly simplistic and setting us up for future problems. That's part of the reason that I won't go see the movie "Fed Up". The other reason I won't see the movie is because of how it addresses childhood obesity and my fear that we are stigmatizing our nation's children.

6. I am not a food elitist, (and to call someone that is rude) but I think that we should be eating more whole foods and spending more time in the kitchen.  Cooking more meals at home helps us connect with our food.  Connecting with food helps us appreciate where our food comes from.  With that respect we might learn to eat with a deeper understanding and eat slowly, paying attention to hunger/fullness/satisfaction.  That doesn't mean I never eat at In 'N Out, it just means that it's not somewhere I go every night, every week or every month.  It's a "play food" that my family will eat on occasion because we enjoy it.  That is moderation.

7. I'm sick of the constant flood of new diets and religious-like zealotry of nutrition beliefs about food.  If I really stay true to my IE roots, then my body dictates my food choices and I tune into that. So if I want to eat more organic, locally sourced food because that's what makes me feel better, then bully for me!  If your body says to eat gluten-free because you think that you feel better because of it, then good for you.  Either way, my diet is my business and I'll be happy to respect yours as well.  That being said, I do have one caveat: if you are going through each different diet plan--one after the next--with the goal of losing weight, then that's where I have an issue because when our diet mentality drives our food choices, we lose sight of the big picture and ignore really listening to what our bodies are telling us.

8. I believe that children are naturally intuitive eaters and that if we, as parents, just take a step back and help foster that skill, many of the food issues we deal with as adults might never be passed on to our kids.  I believe that using a division of responsibility with feeding kids is vital to helping children learn to trust their own bodies internal signs of hunger and fullness.  It's my responsibility to plan a balanced meal with "play" foods and "growing" foods and it's my kids' responsibility to eat, choosing whatever is on the plate and how much of it they choose.

9. Lastly, I believe that we are diverse in our body size and in our eating habits.  As a private practice dietitian it is my goal to provide an environment where my clients can learn to trust themselves around food, to accept their body, to become confident in their cravings, to help them learn what moderation means for them, to help them feel confident around food, to find the joy of movement and to learn to stop worrying about food and enjoy life.

I know that some of these beliefs might seem in conflict with each other but that is why I struggle.  I guess I'm not very black and white with my beliefs.  I sort of fall in the middle on many issues which can make it a challenge to find an identity as a dietitian.

So here I'll stay in the middle ground, enjoying the world around me and hopefully finding some friends along the way who agree with a little, some or most of what I believe.

My Thoughts on the Biggest Loser

Courtesy of NBC

This week, the final episode of this season's Biggest Loser aired. This episode has made headlines across the internet because the winner, Rachel Frederickson, went from 260 lbs to 105 lbs and when she appeared at the finale, appeared too thin.  The uproar that ensued has focused on how Ms. Frederickson's weight loss looks unhealthy and the show is promoting unhealthy eating habits.  I agree on all aspects of this argument but I'd like to point one thing out for this post.

Let's put ourselves in Ms. Frederickson's shoes for just a moment. She was put in this situation of her own free will but the show adds some unimaginable stress on the contestants.  To learn a little about some of those pressures, read this great article by Golda Poretsky here. The show sets up very unrealistic situations to help promote dramatic weight loss like excessive exercise and restrictive eating habits.  Being a former athlete, maybe Ms. Frederickson has had previous exposure to this environment. This controlled setting is all in the name of health, but as we can see from this year's finale, health is really not achieved by such drastic measures.

But again, let's go back to Ms. Frederickson.  The uproar is about the show and these horrible tactics they use, so let's not go too far and blame her for participating.  If we say, "She's not healthy, she looks too thin, she's anorexic," is that any different than us pointing to someone who is big and saying, "Look at her, she's huge, she's not healthy?"  We might be quicker to come to the defense of the larger individual than the smaller one but either way we are judging them based on size.

As a proponent of Health at Every Size®, I need to remember that I should never judge anyone's health by just looking at their body.  Is Ms. Frederickson's weight loss shocking? Yes. Is the Biggest Loser promoting an unhealthy relationship with food and exercise? Yes.  Does Ms. Frederickson have an eating disorder? I have no idea.  She's not my client and I've never talked to her.  The public has no idea what is going on with Ms. Frederickson or her past medical history.  Let's just remember, we are judging the show and not her.   Shaming is shaming no matter what size the person is.  

What do you think?  Did you watch the finale and if so, what were your thoughts?

5 Things Every Parent Should Know About Feeding Themselves and Their Family

I recently spoke to some parents from my children's school about Intuitive Eating and feeding kids.  Here is some of the topics I discussed.  

1) Food is not good or bad! -- A cookie is just a cookie. It’s value is that of calories from carbohydrates, protein and fat and nothing more. The cookie does not judge you. It’s just a cookie. Negative thinking about food leads to poor long-term eating habits like restriction and binging.

2) The War on Obesity is not one worth fighting -- Health can come in many shapes and sizes. Your health is determined by your behaviors and not your weight. Making weight the focus of health, can lead to a negative body image and an unhealthy relationship with food.

3) Your body image will be passed down to your kids -- Body image is a learned behavior so be conscious of your "body talk". Is there “fat shaming” talk in your house? If you shame/hate your body, you child will learn that behavior.  Learn to love your body no matter what shape or size so that your children learn to love theirs as well. 

4) Children are naturally intuitive eaters so learn to nurture that skill instead of stifling it -- Children are born with the innate ability to eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. Forcing your child to eat when they are not hungry or full can override their natural ability to listen to their own bodies cues of hunger and fullness.

5) Adopt a division of responsibility when it comes to feeding your kids -- It is your job to put a healthy meal in front of your children and it’s their job to eat it. Include plenty of "play foods" and "growing foods."  Once the plate is in front of them, let them choose what and how much to eat.  That means try to not bribe them by saying, "Have another bite of chicken or you won't get dessert."

What Is A Healthy Weight?

One of the questions I get asked a lot from my clients is, "What is my healthy weight?"  It is a difficult question and one that doesn't really have a short answer.

If I was a dietitian who didn't believe in what I believe in, I'd probably answer something along the lines of, "Well your healthy weight is when your Body Mass Index (BMI) is in the normal range (18.5 to 24.9)"  But I don't believe that.  If you've read my blog before, you're not surprised that even just typing that phrase, makes me cringe.

So how would I define a healthy weight?  I asked my wife what she thought that meant and I think that her answer pretty much captures how I feel. "Your healthy weight is the weight you are at when you stop worrying about your weight."  I would tweak it just a little to say, "A healthy weight is when you focus on health, not your weight."

But what does that mean and what is health?  That my friends, is where the real conversation begins.  As with all things, the real question might not be what is asked but rather why are you asking?  Why are you wondering about that? Why is finding your healthy weight important?  Why do you include "weight" in the question?  Shouldn't the question simply be about finding your health?  I've shared the graphic below many times and it's on my Facebook page but it really helps illustrate why weight should not be at the center of the question but rather your health should be at the center.

When weight is the focus, we do anything to change it and that can lead to difficult relationship with food.  So let's take weight out of the equation and just focus on health.  

So what does health look like and how do you find it?  Well it's not just one thing it is going to be a whole host of things.  If I had to boil it down to a list (because we all love lists), here's what I would say a "healthy" person is doing on a regular basis (in no particular order). 

1) Connecting with friends and/or family on a regular basis.

2) Finding pleasure and satisfaction in everyday things

3) Moving their body 

4) Finding ways to reduce stress

5) Getting adequate sleep

6) Finding time to stop, unplug and truly rest

7) Listening to their bodies cues on hunger and fullness

Of course the problem is that these things are hard.  There's no simple solution to health and tryting to improve one thing on the above list is not done in a vacuum.  Getting healthy touches all parts of our lives and it takes work. 

What does health look like to you?  Can you take "weight" out of the equation and instead focus on learning to just be healthy?  

What Did My Rabbi Just Say?

Today's post is short but sweet!

"It's not what you look like, it's what you do that is important"  That is what our Rabbi said today during this morning's Rosh Hashanah service.  The context had nothing to do with Health at Every Size (HAES) or body image.  He said these words because it was 100 degrees outside and the AC was broken in the auditorium we were sitting in.  We were all uncomfortable and to help us relax and enjoy the service, he encouraged all the men to take off their ties and jackets and to roll up our sleeves to help us be a little more comfortable in the unbearable heat.  "It's not what you look like, it's what you do that is important," he said to us.

Immediately, those words meant something else to me than the religious context we were in.  I looked over to my kids and repeated to them, "It's not what you look like, it's what you do that is important," hoping those meaningful words would sink in.  I know that they didn't (because of the heat, because they are only 5 and because they didn't really want to be in services) but the seed was planted!

Now that I am home, just a few minutes removed from that service, those words continue to resonate with me.  No matter what your body looks like; round or thin, big or small, "it's not what you look like it is what you do that is important!"  I know those words mean a great deal to me and I find that message above all others today, this day of new beginnings and reflection, most inspirational.

These Are Not the Clients You're Looking For

I'm getting closer and closer to starting my own private practice.  I've registered my practice name as a DBA (Doing Business As), I've got insurance coverage for my practicd and I'm zeroing in on an office space.  I will only start seeing clients on a part-time basis because I still need to keep my full-time job but things are moving quickly.

As I'm starting this new journey, some acquaintances have referred some friends or family that they'd like me to see.  One such referral was for someone who was looking to lose weight because they were interested in joining a branch of the U.S. Armed Forces.  In case you did not know, each branch of the service has their own weight requirements and everyone who enlists must be below the maximum allowable weight or they are not allowed in.

From what I could gather, my client's date to enroll was getting close and needed to jumpstart their weight loss plan and they were looking to me for guidance. I thought long and hard about whether I should take this client.  Just like I tell my clients to do when they embark on making changes, I weighed the pros and cons of taking the client.  After some time I made a decision not to take this client on.  In the end my decision came down to this:

1. As a believer in Intuitive Eating, I don't subscribe to meal-plans for weight loss.  They are useful in some situations but when it comes to really embracing Intuitive Eating, a meal plan gets in the way of listening to and honoring your body's cravings.  
2. By helping this client lose weight with a calorie budget and meal plan, would I be starting them on a cycle of dieting?  So let's say they meet their goal with me...they enlist in the military and then sometime after basic training or somewhere down the road they start to gain weight.  Once this weight gain occurs will they fall back on that familiar meal plan and continue to ignore their own intuitive signals?
3. The fact that it ssemed to be an urgent need to lose weight concerned me. This is not the kind of work that I'd like to do since the focus on just the number on the scale ignores so many other factors that determine our overall health.n I'd rather focus my efforts on health and not just a number. 
4. Although I can not change the military, this notion that anyone outside of their silly weight requirements can not perform as a soldier is absurd. It spits in the face of the whole Healthy at Every Size® movement which I so firmly believe in.  

I really struggled with this decision.  As I'm starting to make a name for myself in the private practice world, I was essentially throwing away money by rejecting this client.  Could I have helped them meet their goal?  You bet I could have.  I'm sure I could have helped them learn how to count calories and plan some meals that would help shed the pounds but at the end of the day, I don't think that's why I'm starting a private practice.  If I took this client, I was starting down a slippery slope and eventually I'd be seeing clients who came to me only for quick-fix weight loss plans.

So my question is this: Do you think I made the right decision?  Should I stick to my beliefs or should I not turn away any possible client as I get my practice started?  I'd love to hear your thoughts.  Also, be sure to stay tuned to hear more exciting news about my private practice.

Boy Scouts Discriminate Against Obese Children

Photo courtesey of USScouts.org

There are times when I feel like I'm living in a make believe world.  I hear some stories in the news and I think this must be from The Onion; the story is so absurd that it must be fake.  Today was exactly one of those days because I saw a story that the Boy Scouts of America (BSA) was not going to allow Boy Scouts whose BMI was greater than 40 to attend their annual Jamboree.  In addition to that, children with a BMI between 32 and 39 had to submit medical information beforehand to be cleared to attend.   Part of the reason for this harsh rule was explained in the Time.com article:

The quadrennial pow-wow’s activities range from mountain biking and rock climbing to scuba diving and a water obstacle course — all strenuous exercises that require physical fitness, Dan McCarthy, director of the BSA’s Summit Group, told the Associated Press. Because there are no vehicles on site, the participants are required to walk everywhere, often on hilly or mountainous terrain.

In all honesty I'm almost at a loss for words for how shocked and appalled I am at this news.  I'm sure we've all heard news that the Boy Scouts are known for their previous discrimination of homosexuals, preventing openly gay scout leaders from joining their organization.  They recently changed that policy but they've decided to change their focus now to "fat kids." The spokesperson for the BSA tried to justify this new policy by saying that Scouts were made aware of the weight rule a year in advance and that troops developed health-related programs to help Scouts lose weight.  Health-related programs are great but we don't need any focus on weight.

BMI is not the only indicator for health and some would argue that it's not even a very good tool to use in the first place.  So why are the Scouts allowed to do this?  Well in short, discriminating against heavy people is probably the last form of discrimination that is socially acceptable and it's even more prevalent than we may think.  One common example is when companies have higher health care premiums for the obese employees.

So let's play this BSA scenario out a little.  Let's say Scout X has a BMI of 42 at the start of last year and he starts to try to lose weight.  He loses some weight by joining the Troops healthy living program and as the deadline approaches, Scout X's BMI is now 40.2.  With the deadline just days away, what does the boy do?  Does he try to sweat out those last pounds by working out extra hard, does he think about restricting his food intake for just a few days.  Maybe he goes to an extreme and takes a diet pill that he saw advertised on TV?  Are these behaviors healthy?  Are these the skills that we want our children to develop in the Scouts?  I don't want my son to ever have to resort to this behavior.  I fear that this might lead to an unhealthy relationship with food, a bad body image and a lifetime of dieting.

I'm sure that the Scouts that are not going to this year's Jamboree because of their weight are disappointed but I'm also guessing that they feel incredibly ashamed.  How will this shame lead to improved healthy behaviors?  Will someone who is ashamed feel more inclined to go for a walk and choose healthy foods?  Or will that person isolate themselves, maybe feel depressed, maybe begin to eat more?  Where is the support system for these kids?  As the rest of their troop returns, how will these Scouts be treated?

The saddest part of this story to me is the fact that I've not heard a lot of public outrage over it.  Take this Fox News online poll that was started as the story broke.  With a total of 9000+ votes recorded 35% agreed that they Boy Scouts are allowed to ban obese kids from attending the Jamboree and 48% thought it was discrimination.  18% were undecided.  Seriously, 35% agree?! Wait 18% are undecided?!  You must be kidding me.

Hopefully this policy will soon change and we will stop fat-shaming our children, our friends, our family, our co-workers. Hopefully we will begin changing our attitudes toward obesity and focus more on healthy behaviors and not the number on the scale or what our BMI is.  Hopefully, we will change our attitudes about fat the same way we are changing our attitudes towards minorities.

What's Wrong with Fat?

Photo Courtesy of Oxford University Press

I was fortunate enough today to attend a lecture with Abigail Saguy, PhD discussing her new book, "What's Wrong with Fat?"  It was a very interesting discussion and I'm excited to read the book to learn more about what she has to say about "fatness" and our society.

The major point of her discussion today was to help us question whether our society's emphasis on the "Obesity Epidemic" is really helping or are we stigmatizing those individuals who are overweight or obese.  By the way, Dr. Saguy used the word fat so I'll use that here instead of the former terms.

Her talk was very interesting and I'm not going list each point but the the highlight was learning about how we "frame" the obesity or fat issue has an effect on how we address it.  Most of my fellow employees in healthcare see fatness as a medical issue.  Something that can be cured or fixed with the right treatment.  Some of my fellow RDs see it as a public health issue where numbers are reaching epidemic proportions.  But lastly, there are some who would see fatness as a social justice issue, where fat is just a diversity issue and we must learn to accept people no matter what their size without bias or stereotypes.

She also discussed how no matter what perspective we use, there is research that would suggest that weight alone is not a good predictor of mortality.  One study she highlighted was Flegal KM, et al., 293[15]: 1861-7, 20 April 2005 in which the authors found this notion of an "obesity paradox" where people with BMIs between 26 and 29 (overweight) actually had a decreased risk of death compared to those in the normal weight category.

As we concluded she closed by questioning why our perception of fat changed over that last 100 years.  It used to be that being fat was a desirable trait but that is no longer the case.  But today, being fat is quite negative.  When you see someone who is fat, what do you think?  "They're lazy and weak. They're slobs and how could they do this to themselves?"  One interesting point that Dr. Saguy made was by explaining that a disproportionate number of minorities and lower income people are fat compared to other groups.  Fatness aside, these groups are also ones that are often discriminated against for other reasons so are we just adding another by making obesity such an issue?

As a dietitian, this topic is extremely important in the work that I do.  Many of my colleagues and other health-care providers will not agree with me, but I agree with Dr. Saguy and I feel that if we can take weight out of the equation we can focus on the behaviors that really matter.  Why should we force our clients to lose weight when 1) most will likely gain weight and 2) losing weight might not improve their health unless they change their behaviors?

As a individual, this topic hits home with me.  I am fat!  I have a belly but that does not limit me in my health.  I can run, I can play sports, I can bike and I am healthy.  I know that some of my clients and some of my fellow employees look at me and say to themselves, "Why is this guy teaching a class on losing weight! He should take some of his own advice."   Well to those folks I say this: my weight is just one part of me. From what I learned today and what I continue to learn, it does not mean I have five years less to live than you.

So what do you think, does Dr. Saguy make you change the way you think about how we frame the question of obesity/fatness?

Dr. Oz Wants You to Slimdown for Summer!

Photo courtesy of Oprah.com

I don't watch Dr. Oz firstly because I have more important things to do during the day but secondly and most importantly, I think he is full of it!  There, I said it!

But I have to admit, he is like a train wreck, however.  I see something he says or writes, and I can't turn away despite all my best intentions.

The train wreck I couldn't turn away from this time was a link I saw via Twitter to his Swimsuit Slimdown Plan.  The article starts by evoking fond memories of your childhood, spending carefree days on the beach or by the pool.  It goes on to point out how many of us avoid these situations as an adult because of the fear of getting into a bathing suit.  The article pulls at your emotions and then reels you in with the common "diet mentality" hook:

You can stay inside all summer, wearing layer upon layer to hide your trouble spots, or always swim in a scuba suit. Alternately, if you’re ready to crank up your confidence, you can follow Dr. Oz’s smart and simple steps to lose weight, feel fit, and regain the confidence you need to wear your bathing suit

What is this amazing plan you ask?  Well let's take a closer look.  It starts like any other fad diet with simple, easy steps to losing weight and a better life.  The first step is to "Sip Smart" with a drink made from 1 cup of grapefruit juice and 2 tablespoons of apple cider vinegar.  Sounds a little tart to me, and maybe to some others too because Dr. Oz allows you to add 1 teaspoon of honey to make the drink a little more palatable. How generous of you doctor! The premise for this drink, (which is supposed to be consumed before each meal) is that it is high in Vitamin C which Dr. Oz argues will help burn fat DURING exercise.  He cites one study (no link supplied of course) which found that participants with adequate Vitamin C levels burned 30% more fat during moderate exercise than those with lower Vitamin C levels. I found the study that the article references here but I could find no others that support this finding...shocking right? The final sentence is another example of Dr. Oz's fad diet sell:

Drink Dr. Oz’s secret slimdown drink before every meal and you’ll literally burn away your fat while enjoying a citrusy delight.

Part two of the plan is my favorite.  The "slimdown salad" is comprised of 1 bunch of dandelion greens, 1 cup of watermelon and parsley.  The "diet" says that you'll get plenty of healthy protein from the dandelion greens.  Yes, you will get protein from the dandelion greens but according to this nutrition data, you'll get a whole gram of protein for each cup of greens.  One measly gram!  Seriously Dr. Oz, no one on your staff could Google "protein content in dandelion greens" and find that one gram of protein will not fill you up?  The watermelon is included in the salad because it is a "good source" of arginine, "which might promote weight loss" according to a study quoted by Dr. Oz.  The study was from the Journal of Clinical Nutrition and can be seen here.  I'll let you read the full article but the basic gist is that lab rats (n=8 in each of four treatment groups) that were supplemented with over 1 gram of arginine per day had less fat accumulation than the other groups of rats.  So, arginine MAY help prevent fat mass accumulation (according to 1 study of just 24 rats) but this begs the question how much arginine is in a serving of watermelon?  Well there is a total of  86.7 mg per 1 cup.  Wow, an amazing 86.7 mg!  Stand back fat, prepare to meet your doom.  IF the study on arginine is true and it helped, why would you only choose 86.7 mg of arginine?  If you wanted arginine in the salad, why not just add one cup of cooked lentils to the salad which would give you 1380 mg of arginine, 16 grams of dietary fiber and 18 grams of protein?  Now that will fill you up!  But this salad is not being sold to you for taste or for flavor but only as a miracle fat burner high...a quick fix.

The other two parts of this genius summer slimdown is to buy a $40 bottle of aminophylline cream to reduce cellulite and a "sculping" exercise routine that can be done in just 5 minutes each morning.  Since I'm a dieitian I'll focus my critique on the nutrition content of the article and just summarize these two points simply by saying they are more quick fixes from the doctor.

This article bothers me on so many levels.  First off the research Dr. Oz is highlighting are singular studies on a topic and without large scale validity.  Secondly, the nutrition advice does not support the "diet's" goals and it looks like it has come out of a lab and not based on building appealing, delicious and nutritious meals.  Why would I want to drink vinegar and grapefruit juice before each meal?  Come on! Lastly, the reason this bothers me the most is that Dr. Oz is abusing his MD credential.  He is another example of how celebreties use their name to promote a quick fix to weight loss.  Is this any different than Kirstie Alley or Charles Barkley?  Sure Dr. Oz is not selling any supplements but he is selling himself, his reputation and in this case, a fad diet.

There is no simple four step plan to health, weight loss or summer happiness.  This is just another in a long series of diets that MIGHT help you temporarily but they won't provide any long-term solution.  Your solution to health lies within you.  You will discover your own healthy life when you finally reject the diets, honor you hunger, make peace with food, respect your fullness and stop using food to cope with your emotions.  That is how Intuitive Eating works.  Why not start to listen to what your body is telling you about your food choices?  With some practice you will begin to intuitively know what foods make you feel best. 

As always, I welcome your comments.

"Intuitive Eating? That Sounds Dangerous"

That is exactly what my close friend's doctor said after their most recent visit this week.  Apparently my friend has gained some weight over the past two years and the doctor said she was concerned about the trend.  My friend mentioned that I'm a dietitian and of course what did the doctor say, "You should have him make you a meal plan." My friend, who has been trying to become an Intuitive Eater, tried to explain some of the basic principles.  That is when the doctor laid out the gem that is the title of this blog post.  Her next sentence was, "I would intuit to have a candy bar every day."  Well doc, maybe that is just what your body needs.

Intuitive Eating (IE) is scary for some people.  Imagine what it must be like after years of dieting and the constant good vs. bad fight going on in your head to then say, I can eat whatever I want.  The answer is yes...yes you can.  One of the basic principles of IE is to make peace with food.  This means giving yourself unconditional permission to eat.  When we don't have permission to eat what we crave, we hide what we eat, we binge and most of all we feel guilty and like a failure when we do "cheat."  Until you break down all the existing food rules and diet mentality, you can not learn to listen to your body and choose the foods that honor your health.

I feel horrible now because my friend is once again obsessed with the scale.  They are once again looking at diet books and different tools to help that silly number on the scale go in the right direction instead of focusing on their health.

I think what upset me the most about the doctor's comments was two things.  First, the doctor dismissed IE like it's just some trivial notion...that eating what we crave and making peace with food is something from a science fiction movie.  That couldn't be farther from the truth.  IE is written by accomplished RDs, it's based on research and we are finding that Intuitive Eaters are healthy individuals.  The second is that doctors have influence over people.  And to make a comment like that to someone who is struggling to listen to their intuition is a real set back into their diet mentality.  This is the exact sort of situation that believers of Intuitive Eating struggle with all the time.  It is part of all of our journeys.

If you would like to read some of the research on IE, just click here.  Also, weight is not the only determinate of good health and some would argue that weight is actually a very poor indicator of health. If you are interested in learning more about that go here and here.

As always I welcome your comments.

Source: operationbeautiful.com via Jessie on Pinterest

A Mindful New Year

Photo courtesy of WeddingPartyToasts.com

Have you ever made a New Year's resolution that you haven't kept?  Did your motivation slowly decline as the months went by?  Did you feel discouraged as you realized that yet again you set a goal for yourself that you were not going to meet?  Would you like to stop that cycle?  How many times has your resolution been something about eating better or losing weight?  Would you like to free yourself from that burden of resolutions and instead feel confidently motivated all year? I think I have an answer for you!

If you scour the internet right now, you'll see a whole host of articles and advertisements.  They are giving you ideas, suggestions and tips for breaking bad habits, eating better and offering quick-fix solutions that fit perfectly into our resolution cycle.  These headlines may sell magazines or drive traffic to a website but they won't really fix the problem. To eat healthy and really change our relationship with food, we need to work hard and do some real soul-searching.  This soul-searching can be hard and we need to develop tools to help us in our journey.

There is a growing movement among dietitians, psychologists and therapists that focuses on a "mindful" understanding of ourselves. I'd like to highlight some of the better resources out there to help you become a more mindful/intuitive eater and help you change the resolution mindset.

Intuitive Eating -- Originally a book written by Elyse Resch, MS, RD, FADA and Evelyn Tribole, MS, RD they now have a website with some great resources.  They have a great page that highlights the 10 principles of Intuitive Eating.  Their principles might seem unorthodox but I can tell you first hand, they work!  I find this method of eating very freeing and has helped me make peace with food.  If you are someone that has struggled with weight and food, this is a must read!!

Health At Every Size® (HAES®) -- This book is written by Linda Bacon, PhD.  She holds a doctorate in physiology and an advanced degree in psychology.  She has worked with eating disorders and with weight regulation and her book details how our war on obesity is failing.  As her site says, "Fat isn't the problem.  Dieting is the problem."  The common misconception for HAES® is that it's throwing in the towel when it comes to losing weight.  That is not the case.  HAES®, like Intuitive Eating is about honoring your health and emotional wellbeing and ignoring the pressure to be thin.

Am I Hungry -- This site is a center for mindful eating.  It is run by Michelle May, MD who is a physician  who has a personal history with yo-yo dieting.  The site has a ton of great resources and Dr. May as well has a variety of trainings for those interested in learning more about mindful eating practices.

This is Not a Diet, It's My Life -- This site/blog is a great resource for anyone insterested in following Kate's journey from being a yo-yo dieter to learning to accept her body and adopt a Health at Every Size approach to living.

I hope this blog inspires you to change.  You don't have to continue to fight with food.  There is peace.  Your weight is just the result of your behaviors and you can't change one without the other.  By treating the real issue (maybe how you cope with loneliness by using food or how you endlessly search for a diet because you have a negative body image) you find a life-long solution to the real problem.   Resolve to treat the real issue that is affecting all other aspects of your life.  Resolve to talk to your self with compassion.  Resolve to break the cycle for your kids.  Resolve to abolish the food police from your life.  Resolve to adopt a life of self care.  It will take hard work and the road will be hard but in the end, there is inner-peace and a new understanding of who we are.

If you find you need help with Intuitive Eating or you'd like to learn more, I'm here for you. To schedule an appointment please call (818) 851-1414 or email me so we can set something up.  I do face to face as well as Skype visits.

Here's to a happy, healthy and mindful New Year.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Loose - What I Learned this Yom Kippur

Photo Courtesy From NYU Local

"Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose." It's a line from one of my favorite shows, Friday Night Lights. Until yesterday, it was just a line that football players said.  Today it means a whole lot more.  

Saturday I just finished celebrating Yom Kippur.  For those of you who don't know, Yom Kippur is the most significant day on the Jewish calendar.  It is the day when we atone for sins committed over the past year and ask for forgiveness from those we have wronged.  Depending on your level of observance, it is customary for most people to fast and it is the one day of the year when almost all Jews attend services at their local synagogue. 

Before I talk about my experience this Yom Kippur I need to give a little back story to some realizations I've made as a dietitian these past few months.  Through different readings and lectures, I've come to learn that I am a firm believer in intuitive eating and the idea of Health at Every Size® (HAES®).  To learn more about each of these ideas I would recommend you read the following books, Intuitive Eating and Health at Every Size®.  What I like about both of these approaches to eating is: 

1. They reject the dieting approach to weight loss
2. They honor our hunger
3. There is a focus on healthy behaviors rather than what a scale says
4. They improve our relationship with food.

If you want to read a great recap of HAES vs. conventional weight loss ideas, read these two blog posts here and here from a debate at this year's Food and Nutrition Conference and Expo (FNCE). It will make you think about how our society thinks about weight loss.

Let's get back to Yom Kippur.  I have been wrestling with the question, "What do these High Holy days mean to me?"  As the sun set on Friday night my wife and I asked each other our yearly question, "Are you going to fast this year?" Based on my experience with Intuitive Eating and HAES, I thought I gave my wife some great advice.  "If you are going to focus all of your thoughts on food, you will lose the meaning of the day.  How will you be able to think about forgiveness and atonement if you are obsessing about when the fast will end?" I was proud of my advice and my wife for deciding not to fast.

I myself, though, didn't take my own advice.  I was convinced that I could fast and be open to inspiration.  I woke up in the morning and prepared to go to temple.  During services, our Rabbi gave a very thought-provoking and inspirational sermon.  I was listening, but not really listening.  I was thinking about food.  I was not receptive to my own inspiration because I was thinking about food.  So I channeled my Intuitive Eating gurus and thought, "Reject the diet mentality. Honor your hunger!"  I came home and ate.  There was no guilt, no shame, no negative self-talk.   The hunger was gone and believe it or not, the inspiration that was planted by the Rabbi and by my experiences from FNCE grew.  

After lunch, my wife and I walked with our kids to a family service near our house and inspiration continued to grow.  I remembered something my wife said to me  during our discussion the night before, "I fast and I feel so bad that by the afternoon, I eat.  I spend the whole morning fasting and waiting to fail."  What a horrible feeling as a Jew to fail on the holiest of days.  I thought to myself, reject the diet mentality because for my wife and I, the fast is not meaningful, it is a diet!  A diet that we are destined to fail. 

How can we truly atone, reflect and look inward if we are fasting?  My expertise is with food, nutrition and not with Jewish law.  I know that this notion of not fasting will offend some who are more observant, but for me, I've learned that if I honor my hunger and reject my diet mentality, I will be open to the inspiration of the day.  I will be able to really look inside and atone my sins of the past year and make amends to do better the next year.  Next year there will be no discussion with my wife.  We will not fast and we will not feel guilty for that choice.

"Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose."  By avoiding the fast, my eyes were clear, my heart is now full and I know that this year, I can't lose! Shana tovah, u'metukah.  A sweet and happy new year.

I welcome your comments!