Honey, Are the Kids Making Their Own Lunches?

Photo Credit: Aaron Flores, RD

One of the things that I'm most proud of is how my wife and I have instilled Intuitive Eating and Health at Every Size® philosophies in our kids.  I often tell people it's my greatest accomplishment as a dad and as a dietitian.  To see how their positive relationship with food and their bodies is developing is truly a blessing.

Even though I see little things that reinforce their food and body trust each day, occasionally there are things I see that truly amaze me and make me so proud.  One of those moments happened last week as both of my kids asked my wife if they could make their own lunches for school.

Let me give you some back story before we go any further; we go to a Jewish day school which means we need to bring a Kosher-dairy lunch.  No meat of any kind.  Eggs and tuna are ok but no turkey, roast beef, hot dogs or chicken.   We are also a nut-free school so, we can't send peanut butter either.  This means we are just a tad limited as to what we can pack in their lunches.  Now, for the most part,  most things we pack are a success but we do sometimes find that our kids get into a bit of a rut after so many years of dealing with these limitations.  It's actually the chore that my wife and I enjoy least because we feel we've run out of creative lunch options so, when our kids said, "We want to make our own lunch," we more than gladly agreed.

Because of how we have our house set up with regards to food, if a child wants to be responsible for making it, they can choose what is in the meal.  That means my wife, who usually makes the lunches, did not tell the kids WHAT to pack, she was just the sous chef.  She provided them with the ingredients they wanted and supervised them as they used a knife.  That's it.  I'm sure you probably want to know what the kids packed themselves for lunch, right?  I mean c'mon, what would you pack if you had no limitations in place(except those already described above)?  Well, that's not the point of the post and to be honest, it doesn't matter one little bit!  For me that's not "where the magic happened."

The magic is that without pressure from my wife and I, my kids are interested in food.  They want to be a part of meals.  They choose to be involved in meal preparation because they enjoy it.  In our house, food is fun.  It's not punishment, a way to reward good behavior or achievement.  It's not something that is held over them like a carrot on a stick (i.e.: "just eat five more bites of protein and then you're done").

A healthy relationship with food is not just about tuning in to what our bodies tell us about the food we've eaten. It is also about being a part of the process of how food is made, where it comes from and how it impacts our environment.

My kids understand their role in our house when it comes to food. They trust that we will provide them with all different kinds of food.  They trust that we will sit as a family every night for dinner.  They trust their body to stop eating whenever they are done.  They trust that food will not be taken or hidden from them for any reason.  As parents, we trust that our kids will not abuse this privilege with food.  We trust that they will eat what is served and they will not ask for separate meals.  We trust that they will stop eating when they are full, no matter how little or much is still left on their plate.

I believe this family trust is where our kids' positive relationship with food and their bodies comes from and I'm so grateful that my wife and I have found something that has worked for all us.

Our kids continue to make their own lunch.  They are enjoying it and my wife and I are proud to watch their creativity with each new day.  I'm sure one day, the novelty will wear off and they'll give up this chore but that will be ok.  Until that day comes, though, my wife and I will gladly take a step back and marvel at the simple pleasure of watching our kids explore their food environment.

Embracing Our Imperfections

This week I came across two very interesting videos on YouTube.  I thought I would share them with you.  They are not really related (except that they have kids in them) but they both made me think about food and how we view our bodies.

The first video is from the Jimmy Kimmel Show.  In this bit,  he's asked viewers to film their children's reactions when they tell them that they ate all of their Halloween candy. You can see their reactions for yourself.


Let's not argue the comedic value of the bit or whether parents should be pranking their kids like this and instead let's look at the reactions the kids have.  Some reactions are sweet with the kids consoling their parents and others are full blown tantrums.  The tantrums are what make us laugh but if we examine the behavior a little more, what struck me was the fact that these intense reactions highlight our kids obsession with sweets.  I'm wondering how the food environments differ in the households. I'd argue that we saw calm and understanding reactions from households where the parents don't over-restrict sweets and the tantrums are seen more in homes where candy is restricted on a regular basis.  We'll never know and there's no way to judge that but it's just my guess.  What would your child's reaction be if you pulled this prank on them?  Would it reflect your food environment?

The second video is from the Jubilee Project.  The video asked one question to 50 different people.  The question is, "If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be?"  See the reactions and answers to that question below.


Two very different types of answers, all dependent on the age of the person they asked.  Isn't it amazing how different the answers are?  Without years of body shame, the first thing that came to mind was how these kids could change their bodies to become superheros.  They didn't want smaller waists, different noses or more muscles...they wanted wings, mermaid tails and teleportation. They wanted to be larger-than life. The adult's answers were obviously much different.  Their comments reflected how most of us feel about our body and the desire to change how we look to fit some ideal. The video closes with hearing an older woman say, "A lot of people obsess about getting older and about the wrinkles.  I love my white hair.. I loved it when it started turning white.  It's one of those things, because I chose to stay this way because it just wouldn't be me if I changed the way I looked."  Beautifully put.

As you think about both of these videos, I'll leave you with this thought.  Let's support one another in our imperfections.  We don't eat a perfect diet, we might make mistakes with feeding our children and we don't have a perfect body.  But those imperfections are what make us who we are.  I for one, like many of you perhaps, could do a better job of remembering that.

Time for a Change Susie Cakes

I've had a song in my head a lot recently, Sam Cooke's "A Change is Gonna Come." The words in the chorus keep going on over and over in my head, 

It's been a long, a long time coming. But I know a change gon' come, oh yes it will

What sort of change is coming?  The change I'm thinking about is one where we stop using food as a reward for our kids.  And if I believe that change can come, then I feel a responsibility to point out positives and negatives in our community.  By speaking up, I'm hoping that we can realize where we need to improve and to acknowledge those who are helping us change our food environment. With that being said, I have to share an issue that I became aware of this week.

My kids started 1st grade this month.  It's the first time that they are being exposed to a more structured learning environment which includes weekly tests.  When they came home this week, they shared some "exciting" news with me: their teacher told them if they get 100% on their test, they'll get a free dessert from Susie Cakes, a local cake/cupcake store here in Los Angeles.

Would you like to guess my reaction? Come on, go ahead and guess? Well, I'm happy to say my head didn't quite pop-off, but I was a little shocked to hear this news. I had a lot of thoughts going on: were the teachers buying cupcakes for kids? Was the store supplying these? Were other classes receiving the same offer?  So I took some deep breaths to calm down and I did some research instead of jumping to conclusions.  I headed on down to the local Susie Cakes in Calabasas, CA to see what I could learn.  As I walked up to the store I saw the following sign:

With that, I confirmed it was a offer from Susie Cakes that our teacher just informed our class about before the test.   I walked in and asked the employee, "I see you have this offer going on.  Is it popular?"  She answered, "Very, we give out a lot of cookies.  And the student can get as many cookies as they want, just as long as they bring in a different test each time."  Oh, fabulous!  Thank goodness they can get as many as they want.  I was worried they'd only get one.  After all, if we really want to cement a "food=reward" mentality, we need to give out more than just one, right?

I know there are some of you who are thinking, 'Come on Aaron lighten up, it's just a cupcake.'  No I will not lighten up and no, I have nothing against cupcakes. Cupcakes are great and Susie Cakes makes some of the best in LA.  My problem is with the promotion, not with cupcakes.  By rewarding our kids with food (especially sweets), we set up an association where our kids grow up thinking, 'If I work hard, do well and succeed, the best way to reward myself is with food.'  That creates an unhealthy relationship with food which does not help our kids trust their internal hunger/fullness cues.  It just teaches them to seek out food when they've accomplished something or maybe even learn that food is comforting when things are difficult.

My other issue is why does our teacher need to bring this up to our class?  If she had not said anything, it wouldn't even have been on my kids' radar.  Luckily, as soon as my kids told me about this, I said, "Sorry guys, we are not doing that.  I don't use food as a reward," and there was not one more word about it.  No fight, no argument and no struggle.  I'm lucky, it could have gone very differently.  Why? Maybe because my kids understand that food is not reward or maybe it was because they know that it's not like they'll never get another cupcake.  Either way, I'm fortunate that we didn't have a food fight because of this.

So, no wonder I've been hearing, "It's been a long, a long time coming. But I know a change gon' come, oh yes it will" over and over in my head.  Change is coming and I'm done being silent about it.  I'm going to speak out about it, because we need to change how we think about food.  If my kids do well in school, if they get an "A", then I want them to develop a sense of self-satisfaction, that with hard work and effort, they are able to accomplish difficult tasks.  That accomplishment leads to self-confidence. 

Susie Cakes, I hope you will reconsider this promotion.  I know your business is to sell cupcakes (damn good ones), but please think about how these types of promotions set our kids up for unhealthy relationships with food.  Of course, it's the parents responsibility to set rules about what our kids eat but when you do this you are marketing food to kids which sets up this "fight" for some families when it comes to food.  Make our jobs as parents a little easier by reconsidering this promotion.  

It seems like an odd request to change such a popular promotion, but remember, change is gonna come, I'm going to try to make sure it will.

UPDATE 9/18/14

Because of social media, Susie, the founder of Susie Cakes was able to read my blog and was kind enough to respond via email.  I am posting the note she wrote (with her permission) for you to read.  Although we might disagree on the issue, I'm very happy that she took the time to respond to me.  

Dear Aaron,

I came across your blog post about our bakery’s back-to-school promotion and wanted to reach out personally. I greatly appreciate your honest feedback and hope I may share my story behind the idea.

The inspiration for SusieCakes came from my childhood memories of spending time after school with my grandmothers in Chicago, talking about my day over their freshly made baked goods. For me, that was a very special time we shared together, and I like to think it was for them as well. My hope is that parents and their children may stop in to the bakery, get a cookie and use it as a special time to talk about what’s going on in school as the year starts. Our effort is not specifically to reward a good grade, but rather to be a part of life’s little everyday celebrations and help parents celebrate the excitement of going back to school with their kids.

That said, I completely understand your surprise with the situation you were placed in as a parent when your child learned of the promotion. I realize that not every parent will wish to participate and while we do not engage in direct marketing to teachers,  I do apologize for any problems that it may have caused.

I sincerely appreciate your compliments about our bakery and you taking the time to share your concerns. I hope I may have helped to shed some understanding on our intent, and that we may be able to share in your family’s celebrations sometime soon.

Many kind regards,

Susie

Founder

Oy Vey, Again With the Candy!

One of the hardest things about people really embracing Intuitive Eating is that there's a lot of gray area when it comes to eating.  There are few things that are really black and white when it comes to Intuitive Eating so there are a lot of nuances that we can learn about ourselves as we learn to listen to our bodies. I like this gray area. It means I'm thinking about it rather than just being passive.

With that context in mind, I'm feeling very conflicted about something and I'm going to try to lay out why this issue has me going back and forth.  Being Jewish, one of the lesser known holidays (to non-Jews) is Purim.  I'm not a Jewish educator (like my wife), so I'll leave it up to you go read about the full meaning of the day but let's just say it's one of those holidays where we really celebrate!  Think costumes, carnivals, parties and of course, food.  One of the mitzvahs of Purim is to hand out food to friends and family.  The food that is handed out is called "mishloah manot."  Given today's food culture, you can imagine what kind of food gets handed out these days.  The traditional food is a cookie shaped liked a triangle called hamantashen but these days it doesn't stop there.  Since we've had kids, I've paid more attention to the food we receive and I'm noticing more and more candy and less traditional items.  Basically, it's turned into Halloween for the Jews.

Why do we give out food?  The reason comes from the Book of Esther.  There's a passage in there that says,

"the days wherein the Jews had rest from their enemies, and the month which was turned unto them from sorrow to gladness, and from mourning into a good day; that they should make them days of feasting and gladness, and of sending portions one to another, and gifts to the poor." Esther 9:22 (emphasis mine)

I wonder how "sending portions one to another" turned into giving our kids bags and bags of candy?

So here's my dilema: I treat the holiday the same way I do Halloween (which you can read about here).  I use Ellyn Satter's principles to help our kids build trust in themselves as competent eaters.  On Purim, just like Halloween, I trust them with their bags of candy.  They have permission to eat their candy and they know how to self-regulate when it comes to how much is enough in one sitting.  I try not to label the food as "good" or "bad" (which is very hard for me) and I give them space to make their own food choices.  But even though I trust my kids, I am questioning "Why is candy the default choice for sending food?   Why has the 'sending portions one to another' become food that is not worthy of really being called food at all?"

My kids are responsible eaters.  I trust them with a bag of candy and they do not abuse that trust. They don't binge and they don't eat it all in one sitting, but I worry about the other kids who are not being raised to be competent eaters.  I worry about how parents are going to take away their kids candy or throw it away, or make their kids feel bad for eating it.  I worry that, as a community, we are sending the wrong message about how we should eat.  I worry that I'm being too judgemental about this as well. I mean if I really feel like there are no "good foods" or "bad foods" than why do I care that my kids get piles of candy?  I care because I am a member of the community.  I care because I'm a parent.  I care because some of this stuff is not really food at all.  I care because I want us all to have a healthy relationship with food.

It's not a black or white issue.  There is no right or wrong here.  There is just gray area and room for discussion and maybe a better understanding of what are we feeding our children.  My hope is that we begin to look a little closer to the true meaning of the day instead of just another opportunity to give out candy that turns my kid's tongues blue.

Here's just some of this year's loot:

Instead of the emphasis on food and candy, why not find a different meaning to focus on.  Like the maybe the tweet below can give us a good place to start.

Today is Purim, what part of yourself would you share with others if you felt completely comfortable to do so?
— Ruth Abusch-Magder (@RabbiRuth) March 16, 2014

Even A Dietitian's Kid Throws a Food Tantrum

I write a lot about feeding kids so as a parent and a dietitian, I guess I've become sort of an expert on the topic.  I haven't put in my 10,000 hours yet but hey, it's about progress not perfection right.

Anyway, just because of my training, beliefs and experience, by no means is my family immune to the dreaded "food tantrum".  So take a seat, fasten your safety belt because you are going to hear what happens in the Flores household when one of our kids loses it...over food.

Before I go any further though I need to put in a disclaimer and sign-post for you.  I'm sharing this experience with you all to show that even with the best intentions, there are always going to be bumps in the road.  Also, our food choices and methods are our own. It's a combination of Ellyn Satter and Intuitive Eating but it's not 100% in alignment with each of these but it works for us. That being said, here we go.

The real tantrum that exploded onto us on Sunday night was over dessert.  Yes dessert.  Part of the meal that 99.9% of the time is handled perfectly well with our kids.  But not this time.  This past Sunday though one of my kids went all atomic on us because all he wanted was a cookie.  Literally 30 minutes of screaming and crying that almost all consisted of, "Daaaaaaahdeeee I want a coooooookie!!!!" over the simple request for a cookie.  

So why didn't he get a cookie for dessert?  Well we have a simple rule in our house that we've had in place since the kids have been born.  If we have one very sweet dessert during the day, we don't have another sweet dessert at night.  We still have dessert but something less sweet.  We don't use those words with the kids though.  We use the words "play food" and "growing food" in our house.  Regardless of what words you use, simply put, if we have a lot of play food (sweets) during the day, we try to have some growing food (less sweet) for dessert.  

This past Sunday, the day of the event in question, we had another in a series of global warming winter days.  That is to say it was warm.  86 degrees warm and we just left a soccer game where we were sitting out in the sun for 60 minutes.  We were hot and we all wanted something cool so as a treat we decided to go get shaved ice...which everyone thoroughly enjoyed.  Well because of the shaved ice earlier in the day we were not going to have another sweet for dinner.  Again, not a new rule but for some reason it really didn't fly that night and before we knew it, we were in full tantrum mode!

Tantrums are the worst!  All you want is for it to end but it won't.  There's no quick end to it.  It's one of those things that once the tantrum is in motion, nothing is going to stop it so you better just buckle up and ride it out.  And when the tantrum revolves around food, it adds another layer of complexity to it (at least for me.) 

So what did we do to get it to stop? We gave him the cookie of course.  I mean c'mon, the kids rule the house right?  So we just said, "Sorry to make you so upset.  Of course you can have a cookie, just stop crying."  NOT.  We tried to reason, we tried to explain but to no avail.  The screaming and crying continued. "Daaaaaahdeeeeeee. I juuuust want a cooookkkeeeeee!!"  

What did we do then if giving in to it was not an option?  We stayed consistent with our previous actions is what we did.  Believe me, my wife and I each lost it at various times during the tantrum but we stayed unified and rode out the storm.  Eventually our kids calmed down and a hug and some cuddling brought the situation to a close but it was not a pretty scene in our house when that was going on.  Once the dust settled though the tantrum was over and everyone was back to normal in just a few minutes.  From DEFCON 5 we quickly went back down to "situation normal". 

Here's the interesting thing though, after about 5-10 minutes of crying, the tantrum was not really about the cookie anymore.  It was about getting his way and the cookie was just the fuel to that fire.  As my wife and I looked back on it we also realized that the tantrum was probably never really about the cookie.  The kid was tired from a busy day, a fun sleepover the night before and from playing in a soccer game.  And I'm sure the hour time change because of daylight savings was a factor too.  

So, why share this experience with you?  Because even with the best plans for "normal eating" and division of responsibility, there will be issues.  It's inevitable.  The key is how do you handle it when it happens.  Will you stay consistent?  Will you cave in to stop it?

Have you had a tantrum over food?  If so, how'd you handle it?  What did you learn from it?  As always, I look forward to your comments. 

5 Things Every Parent Should Know About Feeding Themselves and Their Family

I recently spoke to some parents from my children's school about Intuitive Eating and feeding kids.  Here is some of the topics I discussed.  

1) Food is not good or bad! -- A cookie is just a cookie. It’s value is that of calories from carbohydrates, protein and fat and nothing more. The cookie does not judge you. It’s just a cookie. Negative thinking about food leads to poor long-term eating habits like restriction and binging.

2) The War on Obesity is not one worth fighting -- Health can come in many shapes and sizes. Your health is determined by your behaviors and not your weight. Making weight the focus of health, can lead to a negative body image and an unhealthy relationship with food.

3) Your body image will be passed down to your kids -- Body image is a learned behavior so be conscious of your "body talk". Is there “fat shaming” talk in your house? If you shame/hate your body, you child will learn that behavior.  Learn to love your body no matter what shape or size so that your children learn to love theirs as well. 

4) Children are naturally intuitive eaters so learn to nurture that skill instead of stifling it -- Children are born with the innate ability to eat when they are hungry and stop when they are full. Forcing your child to eat when they are not hungry or full can override their natural ability to listen to their own bodies cues of hunger and fullness.

5) Adopt a division of responsibility when it comes to feeding your kids -- It is your job to put a healthy meal in front of your children and it’s their job to eat it. Include plenty of "play foods" and "growing foods."  Once the plate is in front of them, let them choose what and how much to eat.  That means try to not bribe them by saying, "Have another bite of chicken or you won't get dessert."

Zipzicles!!!

If you've been following my blog recently you might have read my post on Otter Pops.  If you haven't read it, click here.  After I wrote that article, my wife found a product on Pinterest called Zipzicles. Basically they are slender, reusable BPA-free zip top plastic bags so you can make your own homemade Otter Pops.  You can imagine how happy I was that my wife found these products.  God bless the internet, right?  This weekend, the stars aligned: it was 90+ degrees, we had no plans all day, we had the right ingredients in the house so it seemed like a perfect day to give the Zipzicles a test run.

Our ingredients

The company provides you with a couple of sample recipes on the back of the package so we tried one of their suggestions: strawberries and lemonade.  The recipe provided was as follows:

1 cup strawberries
3  + 1/2 cups lemonade
Puree 1 cup strawberries and 1/2 cup lemonade in a blender.  Once mixed, add 3 cups lemonade and pour into Zipzicle.

Pouring the mixture in the bags

Simple enough to do, right!  Once our mixture was ready we broke out a little funnel and filled the bags one at a time.  The recipe is supposed to make enough to fill all 12 bags that come in the package but we only had enough to fill 9.  After filling the bags, we put them in the freezer and 6 hours later they were ready to enjoy.


Once we were ready to try our finished product, I was anxious to see what my kids thought.  They were very excited to try them and they loved the flavor we made.  While we sat there and enjoyed our Zipzicles in the afternoon shade, we thought of new flavors to try so it looks like we'll be doing this again which is great!

What color is my tongue?

When we were all done with our Zipzicles, Reuben asked "What color is my tongue?"  Of course since there was no food dye in our treat, his tongue did not change color. He was a little sad about this, but mommy and daddy were quite happy!  We explained to him why his tongue had not changed color and he seemed to understand but still wasn't quite happy since he really likes that effect!  That's ok.  He'll survive.

Overall, I would say our Zipzicle experiment was quite successful.  We'd definitely make them again when the opportunity presents itself.  We might even try some "adult" variations with tequila for some dinner parties.  What recipe ideas do you have?  Let me know and maybe we'll give them a shot.

Disclaimer -- I did not receive any compensation from Zipzicles to write this post.  It is not an advertisement in any way and my opinions/thoughts/comments are my own.

Shira's Zipzicle

Reuben's  Zipzicle

My Intuitive Eaters

I often get asked about how I apply Intuitive Eating to my kids so I thought I would give you an example from tonight's meal.

I really didn't feel like cooking tonight so I knew I was going to make something simple. As my wife and I try to do on a consistent basis, we asked our kids what sounded best out of three different options. Once my kids decided, I helped them prepare their own plates. We had turkey sandwiches with carrots, hummus, and fruit.  They were in charge of making their sandwiches with as much or little turkey, cheese, mayo and/or mustard. I stood by just to help unscrew a container or handle a sharp knife.  They also put as much or as little of the other foods on their plate depending on their own hunger.

When they started to sit down to eat I made sure not to comment on what or how much they ate.  When they were finished they said their usual, "I'm done" and they took their plates to the sink.  Of course they wanted dessert and we usually offer something sweet to our kids. As with the main meal, we offered choices and tonight my son choose Bunnies, and my daughter wanted a Popsicle.  The interesting thing we do with dessert is we let our kids choose how much they want.  As you can see from the picture below, my son got a small bowl, opened the Bunnies himself and served his own portion.  In case you can't see it, he took about 15-20 Bunnies. 

We have worked had to build trust with our kids and their food choices.  I think that our kids trust it too. They know that we will offer foods they like and a variety of play foods. We trust that they will eat until they are full and that they will not abuse the play foods that we provide.  

How have you succeeded or struggled with feeding your kids?  I'd love to hear your experiences.

Enough With the Otter Pops Already

My wife and I share a lot of responsibility with our twins.  We both work and we've been fortunate enough to have different work schedules so one of the ways we divide up some of the work is that my wife drops the kids off at their preschool and I pick them up.  Most of the time I'm there by 4pm and the vast majority of the time my kids have already had a snack.

Before I go too much further, let me say that our preschool has provided my kids with a very loving, nurturing environment.  They've met great friends, they've had great experiences and developed an early love of Judaism.  But one thing that our school needs to work on is the food they feed my kids.  

We provide lunches for them but the school often gives them snacks.  Since I pick them up I hear mostly about the afternoon snack. If you've ever met my daughter you'll understand why some people call her the "court reporter." She remembers everything and will report back to you anything you want to know about the day's events.  It's not common but there are some days that I pick them up and they have bright blue faces!  The "court reporter" yells, "Daddy, we had popsicles today!" They are smiling, excited to see me and they show me how blue their lips and tongues are.  Of course they're blue, that's what happens when you eat Otter Pops.

I know that some Otter Pops are now made with 100% juice and that they only have 40 calories per pop.  I know that some of you are saying what I've heard before, "Just lighten up." Well to be honest, I will not lighten up when it comes to feeding my kids, thank you very much.  When my kids feces is bright green the next day because of the food coloring in their popsicle, I will not lighten up.

There are plenty of alternatives to the neon glow of an Otter Pop.  Why not make some juice pops with the kids?  My colleague, Sumner Brooks, MPH, RD recommended frozen mango chunks.  I'm sure a handful of grapes or some watermelon would be equally refreshing as a popsicle.

I'm doing my best to raise my kids as intuitive eaters and I believe in the principles I've learned from Ellyn Satter.  My kids have eating habits that I'm proud of and I do not deny them any shortage of play foods inside and outside of our house but in the end the issue is this: when I see bright blue faces when I pick my kids up from school, a part of me feels like the hard work I'm putting in is being unintentionally undermined.  Dr. Yoni Freedhoff said it very well in this article he wrote, "Why is Everyone Always Giving My Kids Junkfood?"

Somewhere along the line, we've normalized the constant provision of junk food to children. It seems no matter how small the ship or short the journey, sugar pretty much christens each and every voyage on which our children set sail. 

There's simply no occasion too small to not warrant a junk food accompaniment. But for me, the strangest part of all is the outcry that occurs if and when I point it out. My experiences have taught me that junk food as part of children's' activities has become so normalized that my questioning this sugary status quo genuinely offends people's sensitivities and sometimes even generates frank anger.

I'm hoping that the status quo will change soon and that my kids will not be supplied endless amounts of sugar and food coloring in the coming years but that might not happen.  I hope that we stop relying on the highly processed food as our go-to snacks for our kids.  I hope that when it comes to treats, we make it from scratch instead of getting it from a box.

What do you think?  Do any other parents struggle with what their kids are fed when they are not with them?

CPK, Stop Marketing Soda to Kids

As a dietitian and a parent, I'm very sensitive to how foods are marketed to kids.  This week I took my daughter with me to meet some family friends for dinner at California Pizza Kitchen.  Of couse when we sat down, my kids got their own Kids Menu complete with pages to color, crosswords, and word searches.

I'm not going to go into their kids menu but let's just say it is pretty standard and could use some improvement but that's another post.

After my daughter was done coloring she wanted some help with the word search.  Since she's not even reading yet, I was doing most of the work and as I tried to help her find words, I noticed what one of the word search words was, "Pepsi!" See the picture below.

Well, needless to say I was a little upset about why on earth Pepsi would need to be included in the word search.  Maybe it's just what CPK thinks makes up a healthy kids meal.  Pizza, pasta, sundae, brownie and Pepsi.  Why that's just all the good stuff a growing body needs.  Sugar, fat and salt. Yum!

So I took to Twitter and posted the tweet below. 

Thanks @calpizzakitchen for marketing soda to my kids!"Pepsi" in the wordsearch on the kids menu? Really?! twitter.com/BVMRD/status/3…
— Aaron Flores, RD (@BVMRD) April 17, 2013

I didn't expect a response at all but the good news is that tonight, CPK sent me the following tweet:

@bvmrd @caseyhinds Thanks for voicing your concern. We're in the process of making new crossword puzzles & "Pepsi" has been removed. Thanks!
— CPK Restaurants (@calpizzakitchen) April 19, 2013

I'm always amazed by the power of social media.  I'm not naive enough to think that just because of my tweet that CPK is changing it's word search, but the point is, when you notice something that goes against what you believe in, make your voice heard.

How have you noticed junk foods marketed to kids?

I'm Not Playing the Box Top Game

Photo Courtesy of Simply Organized Blog

I'm sorry, I don't like Box Tops!  There, I said it and there's no going back now.

For those of you who might not have kids or who don't work in education, Box Tops are a program where you buy certain products which have the logo on the right, clip the top of the box, deliver them to your child's school and the school then receives money from the Box Top for Education organization.  From the Box Top for Education website, "Box Tops has helped America's schools earn over $475 million since 1996."  With school funding always an issue, especially here in California, it's great that there is a way for schools to have access to extra funds to provide quality education.

So if it's such a great way to help fund my local school, why should I hate Box Tops?  The answer is simple.  MOST (not all) of the products with the Box Tops logo are (how can I say this nicely) nutritionally challenged.

You can see the whole list of participating products here.  If you look at the list you quickly notice that there are some big name brands that participate.  Betty Crocker, Bisquick, Cheerios, Chex, Pillsbury, Kix, Fiber One and Yoplait to name just a few.  If you dig a little, you'll find that all of these products are owned by (drum roll please), General Mills. Interesting, right?  Can you guess which company started the Box Tops For Education program?  That's right: General Mills.  According to their site, Box Tops for Education was launched in 1996 in California on cereals like Cheerios, Total and Lucky Charms. 

What's wrong with General Mills being brilliantly smart by creating a program to boost sales and also help fund struggling schools?  Absolutely nothing except that their slogan which they proudly display is :

Photo Courtesy of Box Top for Education

How can you "nourish young lives" when the majority of the food you are feeding them is full of added sugars, artificial colorings and trans fat?  We hear a lot about how marketing to kids affects intake, but this program is genius because the schools do all the marketing to the kids and partents.  Kids come home excited to find Box Tops and compete to bring in the most in their class.  Parents feel good because they are helping their child's school and General Mills laughs all the way to the bank.  But General Mills simply can not "nourish young lives" when the food they are supplying is hindering our children.

There is some good news. 1) There are some healthier products that have Box Tops like Cascadian Farms cereals, Green Giant produce and frozen vegetables and Larabar Multipacks.  2) Box Tops are available for a variety of non-food items like Avery labels, Ziploc bags and Brita waterfilters.

Where does that leave me as a parent whose children are now Box Top crazy?  If it comes down to just money, I'll be happy to donate a few extra bucks to help fund my children's education.  Let's say hypothetically, my kids bring 10 box tops a week.  That's $0.10 per top for a total of $1.00.  If you subtract about 12 weeks for summer and vacations, that's about 40 weeks.  At $1.00 per week for 40 weeks is a grand total contribution of $40.  I can handle that!

As always I welcome your comments.

Let's Have a Healthy Halloween

Originally written for and posted on Grandparenting Plus Blog.  In the interest of full disclosure the authors of this blog are my mother and grandmother.   (Yeah they blog too...who doesn't these days?)

No other holiday tests our parenting skills more than the issue of how we handle candy on Halloween.  But as with many of our current holiday traditions, Halloween and candy haven't always been linked together like they are now.  Halloween was originally a Celtic harvest holiday and was brought to the United States with the 19th Century Irish immigrants.  As the holiday evolved, kids began to trick-or-treat and until the 1950's trick-or-treat'ers were more likely to get non-food related booty, like coins, pencils and other trinkets rather than candy.  It was not until candy manufacturers started to market candy as a way to boost revenues that sweets became synonymous with Halloween.   To illustrate just how much emphasis candy companies put on Halloween I took my 5 year old son along to check out two very different stores: Whole Foods Market and Rite-Aid Drug Store.  It's pretty shocking to see the stark difference between them.

The Halloween candy section at  Whole Foods in Tarzana, CA

The Halloween aisles at Rite-Aid in West Hills, CA

When we think of all the candy that kids might get for Halloween, the first thing we think about is all the sugar that our kids are going to eat.  Unfortunately, the sugar is the least of our worries.  Sadly, it's the artificial food colorings and trans-fat that is pervasive in many of these foods that we should be concerned with.  The Center for Science in the Public Interest (CSPI) published a great report on the risks of artificial colorings in 2010 called, "A Rainbow of Risks".  You should definitely read it and you might reconsider buying M&M's.

Despite all the horrible things in candy, for me as a parent and as a dietitian the biggest issue during Halloween is how I approach and handle my kids' candy intake.  If you follow my blog (www.BVMRD.com) you know that I believe in a non-diet approach to eating.  I am a believer in Intuitive Eating and I apply these principles to my clients and also to my family.  The other philosophy that fits nicely with Intuitive Eating are some of the theories on feeding children from Ellyn Satter.  When I decided to talk about eating and Halloween, Satter was the resource that I knew I had to include and thankfully she addressed the topic both in her book and in her website:

Halloween candy presents a learning opportunity. Work toward having your child be able to manage his own stash. For him to learn, you will have to keep your interference to a minimum. When he comes home from trick or treating, let him lay out his booty, gloat over it, sort it and eat as much of it as he wants. Let him do the same the next day. Then have him put it away and relegate it to meal- and snack-time: a couple of small pieces at meals for dessert and as much as he wants for snack time. (From EllynSatter.com The Sticky Topic of Halloween Candy, Family Meals Focus #30 on 10/22/08)  

I know you are reading this and saying, "Are you serious?", or maybe, "Oh hell no, I am not going to let my child dive head first into a full bucket of a candy."  But hear me (and Satter for that matter) out.  By allowing your child to have the freedom to learn to manage their own candy instead of you controlling it will allow him or her to develop a sense of trust around food.  If your child breaks this trust, you can take the candy away until they demonstrate that they can handle it.  The goal is to let your child build confidence and self-reliance around listening to their internal cues of hunger and fullness.  If this method still seems too extreme for you, try to modify it, but the key is for you not to interfere with what they choose or how much of it they eat.  The hope is that the relationship your child develops with food and sweets is based on their own internal cues and not on restriction.

One important thing to remember is that the best way we teach our children is though modeling our behaviors. If we call food "junk," "bad" or "garbage," our kids will pick up on that.  Conversely, if our children see us having a healthy relationship with candy, the chances are that they will develop the same attitude.  Be aware of how you handle candy because that will affect you child's behaviors.  These are just some of the concepts that are discussed at length in the new edition of Intuitive Eating in which the authors devote a whole chapter on raising Intuitive Eaters.  I highly recommend you read it.

Don't think of Halloween as a power struggle between you and your children.  If they are old enough explain to them what your plan is.  If they are too young to understand, try explaining your rules for Halloween so they know what to expect.

Halloween is just one day but feeding a child and raising an Intuitive Eater is the foundation for healthy eating for a lifetime. Here are some simple things you can do:

1) Don’t restrict dessert. Make it a part of regular meals and try serving it with all the other things during dinner time.

2) Try to refer to food in non-judgmental terms. Take out the “good” vs. “bad” so that kids don’t feel guilty for eating “junk.”  Try using terms like "play food" vs. "growing food."

3) Divide responsibility. It’s your job as a parent to provide balanced, nutritious meals with a variety of play foods. It’s your child’s job to eat.

4) Don’t be a short-order cook.

5) Trust in your child’s innate abilities. Children know how much food they need so allow them the freedom to choose how much to eat. Overall, they will choose foods that help them grow and most of all they’ll develop a healthy relationship with food.

As always, I look forward to reading your comments.

Snack Ideas for Your Child Athele

My son just started playing organized sports this year. He finished one season of t-ball and he just started soccer this fall.  Maybe it's just an occupational hazard but I can't help but marvel at some of the snacks my son has been served since starting these sports.  In my brief experience with children's sports, I've noticed that many of us parents are sending the wrong message to our kids.  What does it say when we reward performance with doughnuts and Rice Krispy Treats?  Are we missing the connection between playing well and eating well?  Are we stressing team work and good sportsmanship but serving our teammates food that does more harm than good?

It can be daunting to feed a whole team of kids, but here are a few tips that might make things a little easier for you.

1) Serve whole fruit instead of "fruit" snacks like roll ups.   Fruit roll ups from General Mills are "made with real fruit" but when you look at the ingredients (see image below), you find some interesting things.  First, the main ingredient in the strawberry fruit roll up is pears, not strawberries.  The next three ingredients are sugar (in the form of corn syrup, dried corn syrup and sugar) and the fourth ingredient is partially-hydrogenated cotton seed oil or commonly called trans fat.  Last I heard, trans-fat and corn syrup didn't help improve any sports performance that I'm aware of.  Instead of these "fruit" snacks try some fresh grapes, oranges, apple slices, or melon.

Photo Courtesy of General Mills.com

2)  Include a whole grain starch in your snack choice.  Try making small sandwiches made on 100% whole wheat bread or whole grain crackers.  I found that most kids enjoy the Kids Clif Z Bars which come in a few different flavors.

Photo Courtesy of Clifbar.com

3) Try to provide a simple protein in your snack.  String cheese or peanut butter could be a great addition to your whole grain crackers or bread.

4) Read the ingredients list when you buy processed foods and try to avoid products that have high fructose corn syrup.

5) Leave the cupcakes and doughnuts at home.  The common thought is, "My son/daughter is burning so many calories that it doesn't matter what they eat."  Well that is just wrong.  Yes, they are burning calories but don't we also want our kids to be healthy?  If you want something sweet, try making some whole wheat banana bread or whole gain muffins.

6) Be sure to remember to bring fluids, ideally water.  Unless you child is exercising for more than an hour, you probably don't need a sports drink but it might be appropriate if it is a hot day.  Kids are more likely to suffer from dehydration so be sure to encourage your little athlete to drink plenty of water before, during and after the game.

By making just a few simple changes our children will see how food can help then score the winning goal, hit that home run and sink the game winning shot.  Healthy food is just as important as sportsmanship and teamwork.  It all lays the foundation for habits that will help them succeed not just on the field but in all aspects of life as well.

I'd love to hear what great sports snacks you've come up with for your son's or daughter's team?

Children, the Casualties in the War on Obesity

CNN posted an article recently about how eating disorders among children are on the rise.  Watch the video below for an idea of what the article discusses.

 

One of the more alarming things I read in the article was:

A study conducted by the Agency for Healthcare Research and Quality showed that hospitalizations for eating disorders in children under 12 increased by 119% between 1999 and 2006.

As with any war, there are always casualties.  In the War on Obesity, we are beginning to see that children are among the casualties from our focus on losing weight.  As the article points out, children in the 3rd and 4th grade are already developing anxiety over their bodies.  The unintentional result of our focus on obesity versus good health is the increase of low self-esteem and a trend of prejudice against overweight people.

Where does this anxiety, obsession or focus come from?  Sure, part of it is media driven but it also comes from the home and from other children.  How do we as parents affect our child's body image and cocern about weight?  At what age do they become aware of our own actions: weighing ourselves; saying negative things about our bodies; restricting foods; avoiding bathing suits; avoiding pictures?  They hear us talk about eating healthy but we might unintentionally reinforce poor eating habits by using food as a reward or celebration on one hand but then restrict foods because of a diet or punishment.

It's not only what happens at home but also what happens at school.  Are our children being bullied at school about their weight?  Are they targeted because they are fat or made insecure about their body?  These factors all play a role in our children's body image and how they relate to food.

How do we change? What can we do to start to spare our children a lifetime of body shaming, weight issues and dieting?  One of the new chapters in the 3rd edition of Intuitive Eating is about how you can raise an Intuitive Eater.  This new chapter provides many great suggestions and tips that will help you and your family make peace with food.  If you are a parent, the Intuitive Eating 3rd Edition and Ellyn Satter's The Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family are must haves books!

As a parent, intuitive eater and dietitian, here are some things that my wife and I have always tried to do in our house and with our kids:
1) We are responsible for providing healthy and balanced meals for our children.
2) Our children are responsible for eating the foods we provide and eating until they are full.
3) We don't "bargain" or make deals with our kids.  We never say, "Just eat two more bites of ____ and you can be done."
4) We sit down as a family, without distratctions like the the TV, and enjoy mealtimes together as often as possible.
5) We provide a "treat" or dessert at almost every meal.
6) We do not hide foods.  Cookies are placed at our children's level in a cupboard that they can open and access at any time.
7) We don't allow any adults to talk negatively about their body while they are in our house.

As always, I welcome your thoughts and comments.

Issues with Feeding Twins

The following is a cross-post from LittleStomaks.com.  Click here to see the original. 

Question: How can I get my twins to eat well and develop healthy habits?

Answer:

You would think that a dietitian would have an easy time when it comes to feeding their own children right? After all, we do consider ourselves the nutrition experts.  I find it is quite the contrary.  Knowledge does not always equal 100% success when it comes to feeding your kids.  Along with being a dietitian, I am also the proud father of not-quite 3-year-old twins, Reuben and Shira.  Being a father of twins and a registered dietitian, I think I’ve gained some unique perspective on feeding children.

Before being father, I remember sitting in school earning my bachelor’s degree, and learning about Ellyn Satter.  I found out she was a dietitian who had very interesting insights into feeding children.  I knew she wrote many books on the subject I never was motivated to read them until I found out my wife was pregnant.  Until you have children of your own, you never really know what kind of parent you will be or how you will handle any given situation.  You think you will handle it one way but until that actual moment is there, you never really know. Feeding my children was a perfect example of this.
What I loved about Satter’s theory is that focuses on responsibilities.  She believes that a parent’s job is to provide healthy, balanced meals to their children.  Then it is the child’s responsibility to eat the meal.  A parent is not a short order cook and should not run to the kitchen to make a whole new meal just because he/she doesn’t like what is being served.  Sounds simple?  In theory it is but until you experience the five-minute tantrum that your son is having because he doesn’t want pasta with vegetables, you don’t know how hard that is.

Having twins adds another complexity to all of this.  Some think that twins (no matter if they are identical or fraternal) should be similar since they have the same birthday, are raised together and share most of their experiences.  Wrong!  Twins are really just siblings who share a birthday and can be as different as night and day, especially when it comes to food.  My kids eat the same meals as each other but how they react during a meal is totally different.  One is more likely to get upset and the other is more likely to lose attention quickly and eat only one or two bites of food before asking to leave the table.  We learned that there were differences very early on.  Our daughter was colicky for the first four months of her life.  We tried everything to relieve the symptoms.  There was one point when she had different bottles, nipples and formula than our son.  It was our first lesson that what applied to one would not necessarily apply to the other.

If you want some insight into chaos theory, come over for dinner one night.  It is a bit of a circus but despite all of this, my wife and I have two kids that are actually very good eaters.
So how did we do it? They key is that with most things behavioral, there is no quick fix.  It takes time and consistency but pays off in the end.  Here’s what’s worked for us and maybe it can work for you too.

1. Everyone sits down at the dining room table with the TV off for dinner. (Unless there is a big football game on!)  This gives us structure at night and allows us to connect with each other
2. Have regular snack times.  If one child doesn’t eat at dinner for any reason (mood or not hungry) my wife and I know that they won’t starve.  They will have a balanced and nutritious snack in a couple hours that will satisfy them
3. As your children get older, involve them in the meals.  I made falafels at home for the first time last month and the kids helped by adding the ingredients in the food processor.  Since they were apart of the process they were more interested in trying this new food.
4. Grow some vegetables with your kids.  They will love watching the plants grow and be excited to see how a cucumber started from a seed to the long green vegetable that is now on their plate.
5. As they get older, give them a choice between two things for dinner.  Every night I ask, “Ok, do you want this or that for dinner tonight,” and that’s it.  I don’t give them more choices and I try not to get into a negotiation.